


I Don't Know What I'm Supposed to do, Haunted by the Ghost of You

by dan_avidaddy



Category: Game Grumps, Ninja Sex Party - Fandom, Starbomb
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Break Up, F/M, Pining, Post-Break Up, Rekindling, Wedding, i've had this idea for months but was too depressed to attempt to write it down until now
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-05
Updated: 2021-02-05
Packaged: 2021-03-17 01:07:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29216937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dan_avidaddy/pseuds/dan_avidaddy
Summary: Despite breaking up, Dan still comes as your plus one to a friends wedding. Angst ensues.Title from "The Night We Met" by Lord Huron.
Relationships: Dan Avidan & Reader, Dan Avidan/You
Comments: 1
Kudos: 4





	I Don't Know What I'm Supposed to do, Haunted by the Ghost of You

“Dude, he looks like he’s gonna pass out,” Danny whispered in my ear.  
I stifled a laugh, biting my lip and trying not to draw attention to us.  
Playfully, I smacked his arm, “You be nice! It’s a big day for TJ, of course he’s crying like that.”  
TJ had been my friend for many years now, the second he met Deb, we all knew he was done for. After briefly dating and a swift engagement, here they were finally saying “I do.” But I thought I would be the one up there first.  
Danny giggled softly, “I know, but like, jesus man, it’s a lot.”  
I rolled my eyes, a small smile on my lips, glancing over at him. Opening my mouth to speak, I immediately heard a woman not so subtly clearing her throat and glowering at us. Clamping my mouth shut, I gave one last smirk to Dan before turning my attention back to the front of the room, my heart aching slightly.  
Danny and have, or I guess, had been, together for three years. White he wasn’t my first love, he certainly was the one who made me forget I had ever been hurt before.  
We met in 2014, I was a fresh faced legal consultant for an up and coming YouTube channel named Game Grumps. I rolled up to the first day in heels and a suit dress, my hair perfectly swept back into a bun, not quite realizing what kind of environment I was walking into.  
From the moment I first met him, when I held out my hand and said “Y/N, I’m the new legal consultant for this company, it's a pleasure to meet you,” and he responded by putting a single Skittle in my hand and saying “Sup, I’m Danny, and while you look lovely, this isn’t going to be like any kind of legal job you’ve ever seen,” I was completely smitten with him. We quickly became friends, always laughing and hanging out with one another, until early 2016. Danny softly knocked on my office door and with a kind of nervousness I had never seen from him, “Hey, um, I don’t know if this is gonna make things weird between us, but I have to or I’ll never forgive myself. What-what are you doing this Friday?”  
From that moment on, we were inseparable, constantly together, and even moving in together after one year...until things changed.  
Danny worked more and more, I saw him less and less. At first I tried so hard to be understanding, he was living his dream after all! Who would I be to try to keep him from that?  
But as time went on...I simply felt like his lame girlfriend with a normal job who couldn’t always be the fun one. We drifted further and further, neither one wanting to confront the big issue in front of us, until…  
I was dragged out of my idle daydreaming of days past but the sound of applause. Somehow, I had missed the vows and the kiss, and now TJ and Deb were walking down the aisle as husband and wife.  
Quickly I began clapping, hoping no one would notice I was lost in my head, but I doubt anyone noticed me, considering a wedding was going on.  
When they announced the wedding, Danny and I were together and RSVP’d to attend with him as my plus one. But two months ago was when things changed.  
Danny had flaked on me for our date night for the fourth week in a row, I was in our living room, crying into a glass of wine when he finally got home.  
“Hey, I’m sorry I’m late, recording ran pretty long today. But, I’m here now!”  
I scoffed, “Oh you’re here now, four hours late, acting like you didn’t do anything wrong. And yet I’m not surprised.”  
Soon, we went into full fledged arguing, both of us coming to the same conclusion at the same time. This wasn’t working out.  
Within a week, I was living in my apartment alone again.  
Within a month, I finally decided to start working from the Grumps office again after working from home for fear of seeing him and bursting into tears again.  
Despite everything, we really were trying to just work around it. After all, we were co workers, and he was still my best friend.  
I had told him he didn’t have to come as my plus one if he didn’t want to, but he insisted, “Promise is a promise. I said I would go with you so I will. After all, I did become friends with TJ through you too, I’d feel bad not showing up to his wedding after I said I would.”  
So now, we were here.  
“Hey Y/N, you alright?” Danny said, placing a hand on my thigh before immediately remembering the reality of us and quickly removing it.  
I blushed crimson, standing up far too quickly, “Sorry, just kind of zoned out.”  
Glancing around, I saw everyone else standing up and making their way slowly to the doors of the church, excited to get to the reception and have the real fun begin.   
“We should get over to the reception though, you know I love me some food and dancing.”  
Danny smiled softly, almost sadly, at me. “Yeah, of course, lead the way Y/N.”  
~~  
“Personally, I think weddings are far too overrated.” I said, taking another bite of my dinner. “And not even in the whole ‘weddings are funerals with cake’ kind of way. Like in the ‘wow what a huge money pit’ kind of way.”  
Danny smirked, rolling his eyes at me. “Truly the romantic.”  
I giggled, “Well c’mon, you know I can be if I want to be. But I don’t see huge weddings as ‘romantic’, I see them as a flashy expensive way of telling people how in love you are.” I fake gagged for emphasis, “And that’s just not me, I’m a simple gal.”  
Pushing my now empty plate forward, I turned and smiled at Dan. “So, aside from my annoying rambling, you having an alright time? You don’t have to stay if you don’t want to.”  
Dan smirked at me, rolling his eyes, “Yes, I am having a good time, and you’re not annoying.”  
It was my turn to roll my eyes, “Yeah fucking right dude.”  
Before he could respond, a microphone clicked to life in the room, alerting us it was now officially time for the first dance.  
Everyone began cheering as TJ and Deb walked onto the dance floor, bright eyed and all smiles as “The Rainbow Connection” by Kermit the Frog began to play.  
Laughing I looked over at Dan to see he was already staring at me. He bashfully looked away from me and to the couple swaying on the dance floor.  
“Is this what you expected from them or what?”  
He laughed, looking back at me, “Honestly? Yes for sure. I do think it’s a very cute first dance, much better than what most people play for the first dance.”  
“Yeah, could be worse, they could have played something like ‘Rush’. God how bad would that have been?”  
He smirked at me in feigned annoyance, “You always know how to push my buttons woman.”  
I felt an ache in my heart at his words, I quickly stood up, feeling tears pricking at my eyes for the millionth time around him..  
“Well, as riveting as this is, I am going to go to the restroom real quick, I’ll be right back.”  
He nodded, leaning back in his chair, “I’ll be here, don’t fall in.”  
Rolling my watering eyes, I quickly went to the restroom.  
The second I got in a stall, I sat down on the toilet, trying and failing to not fucking cry at a wedding for my own studpid, personal shit. I should be crying because I’m so happy that my friends are happy, but instead I’m crying because I came to a wedding with my ex boyfriend that I’m still in love with but know I’ll never have back.  
God I was a rotten girlfriend, and now I’m a rotten friend.  
What else could possibly go wrong with me tonight?  
~~  
After a few hours of music and watching others dance, Dan and I were still at our table, talking and laughing like nothing had changed.  
We said hello to TJ and Deb, not wanting to keep them away from their other guests and their special day, but other than that, it had just been the 2 of us talking and laughing together most of the evening.  
Many people had already left, so it was mostly drunk relatives of the bride and groom that remained, with a few other stragglers like us still floating around.  
As much as it may hurt sometimes being around Dan, I found myself not wanting this night to end, to just stay here, playing a make believe game in my head of what if.  
“Hey, all I’m saying is, I think that having All Star be your first dance is most definitely the worst song to pick!”  
“Oh no way! I think that Shia Lebouf is way worse! It’s a song about cannibal Shia c’mon!”  
“Agree to disagree?”  
“I’ll take that as accepting defeat.”  
“Call it what you want.”  
We filled the empty space between us with laughter, both of us red in the face.  
The music then shifted, a soft, slow song began to play and Dan looked me, with a soft sad smile.  
“Hey, I hope I’m not overstepping here, and please feel free to tell me no if you don’t want to, but may I have this dance?” He extend his hand to me in a faux gentleman type way that you see in movies.  
I scrutinized his face, trying to gauge if he was just continuing our banter or being genuine. When I saw the softness of his eyes, I bit my lip, nodding.  
“Sure, yeah, that would be nice.”  
He smiled sweetly at me as I placed my hand in his, gently pulling me into standing.  
Hand in hand, we walked onto the dance floor, filled with various couples in various states of drunkenness swaying to the music.

I am not the only traveler  
Who has not repaid his debt  
I've been searching for a trail to follow again  
Take me back to the night we met

Dan reached out to put his hands on my waist but stopped short, looking at me. “May I?”  
I blushed at his sweetness, “Of course.”  
Smiling, he gently placed his hands on my hips, slowly pulling me in close. I reached up, draping my arms across his shoulders, resting my head against his neck.

And then I can tell myself  
What the hell I'm supposed to do  
And then I can tell myself  
Not to ride along with you

He sighed softly, “Did I mention you look absolutely beautiful tonight?” He nuzzled against my hair, “Because my god do you.”  
I felt my eyes pricking once again tonight, “Please, please don’t do this to me.” I barely whispered.

I had all and then most of you  
Some and now none of you

“Do what?” He sounded hurt.

Take me back to the night we met  
I don't know what I'm supposed to do  
Haunted by the ghost of you

“I’m finally starting to be okay again, I can’t go through this kind of heartache again.”

Oh, take me back to the night we met

“Everything reminds me of you, it hurts all the time.” I whispered against his skin. “But I feel like I’m learning to breathe again, and it stings all the time.”  
He gulped, “I didn’t know this was all hurting you so much still. You always seem so...I don’t know...fine all the time.”  
I chuckle darkly, “Far from it Dan.”

When the night was full of terrors  
And your eyes were filled with tears

“Hey,” He said softly, “Look at me sugar.”

When you had not touched me yet  
Oh, take me back to the night we met

I pull away slightly, looking up at him.

I had all and then most of you  
Some and now none of you

“Do you still love me?”

Take me back to the night we met

“I never stopped.”

I don't know what I'm supposed to do

“Me neither.”

Haunted by the ghost of you

Tears were flowing freely between both of us now.

Take me back to the night we met

Before I knew it, my lips were back where they belonged, the only place they ever felt real, on the lips of my lover.  
Only the moment was over too soon.  
Dan pulled away from me, “I’m sorry,” He stepped back, “I’m so sorry.” Turning on his heel, he walked away, leaving me alone.  
My heart pounded, not with happiness, but with anger.  
I quickly followed him out onto the back patio which was void of people.  
“What the hell is wrong with you?” I blurted out, making him stop in his tracks, “You can’t just do that to me. You can’t just make me feel special and then leave again.”  
Dan made no attempt to move, staying perfectly still facing away from me.  
“Leaving is just what you do,” I snarled, speaking out what I always wanted to. “You always leave when you’re scared because you don’t want to get hurt. You don’t care who it hurts as long as it’s not you.”  
“You think this doesn’t hurt me?” He snapped, walking towards me and getting close to my face. “You think that seeing you every fucking day doesn’t destroy me? That I always have to look at the only person who ever truly understood me and realize it's my fault I don't have you anymore?”  
“Yeah,” I was slightly taken aback, but too angry, far past my boiling point to stop. “It was your fault. I tried so fucking hard Dan. I tried so hard to be patient and understanding with you, but you made it so fucking hard! You pushed me away!”  
He groaned, pushing his curls away from his face, “I KNOW,” He composed himself, knowing how much I hated yelling, “Baby I know I fucked up. Really bad. And fuck I loved you, I still love you, and I’ll never stop, but I can’t hurt you again.” He gulped, “What if we did get back together and this happened again? I could never live with myself.”  
“Then fucking talk to me!” I restrained myself from shouting, “Everything that was wrong could have been fixed if you just talked to me about how you felt instead of shutting me out like you always do!”  
“It’s not that easy for me-”  
I cut him off, “You think it’s easy for anyone?”  
He opened his mouth, but then closed it, rubbing tears from his face.  
“No,” he breathed, “No I know it’s not. I should have tried harder.”  
I looked in his sad eyes, and felt my anger melt away.  
Before I truly realized what I was doing, my lips were back on his with renewed fire. He quickly put his arms around me, pulling me close and kissing me back fiercely. Fuck I missed this. Two months without his lips on me in some way was two months too long.  
Gently, he pulled away. “You don’t have to decide tonight, I’ll wait as long as it takes for you to think it over. I don’t deserve your forgiveness, your love, your soul, but I am begging for it regardless.”  
He swiftly kissed me again, his hands cupping my face.  
“I love you, I love you, I love you Y/N. And nothing will change that. Please let me try again. Please let me back into your life.”  
I was openly weeping now, the gross, hiccuping kind of sobs escaping from my throat.  
“I forgave you a long time ago Danny. I forgave you the second you walked out the door that night.”  
He smiled through his tears, pulling me in for more sweet, loving kisses.  
“Y/N, I love you.”  
“I love you too Danny.”  
“Forever and a day.”


End file.
